Hubris of Redmond

by dweller - 2025-01-19

#poetry #parody

Hello Windows, my old friend
I’ve come to code for you again
Because people are still booting in
Even though Android’s share has a massive win
But real programs, that you need to get stuff done
Still remain
Within the grip of Redmond

In restless nights I code alone
Trash APIs of Microsoft
‘Neath the managed code of the .NET
I typed my program in the native land
When my mind was stabbed by the COM and MSDN
They changed the URL
It’s deprecated by Redmond

And in the cursed docs I saw
Ten thousand layers, maybe more
Programs running in CLR
DLLs loaded Side-by-Side
JavaScript written to run on the desktop
And no one thought
To stop the madness in Redmond

“Fools” said I
“You do not know, dependencies like a cancer grow
Simplify your code so we can understand
Provide native APIs that we can link against”
But my pleads like C++ warnings are ignored
And made fun of
In the den of Redmond

And Microsoft deployed and shipped
The Windows God that they have made.
And the kernel flashed in BSOD
With the errors that it not caught.
And the BSOD said, “The shell code is written
in the managed code
And dynamically loads
And Longhorn was just a taste of Redmond.”

I wrote this after I woke up after previous night of having to deal with Windows programming.